At times we spend so many years of our lives with one person and can’t help but hope that everything will work out for the best in our relationships. Unfortunately, that is not always the case for many; relationships end, even marriages dissolve, and people go their separate ways. You might have a hard time getting your mojo back and entering the dating scene again. But don’t worry, we are here for you. This blog is perfectly curated to help you regain yourself before starting a new relationship.
Take Time to Heal
You don’t want to start a new relationship when you are still hurting from your previous one. Most people tend to jump to the next person immediately to avoid having to deal with their pain. This is not always a good idea as you might end up projecting all your issues to the next person.
If your previous relationship ended due to cheating and disloyalty, then you need to give yourself time to regain your trust in people; otherwise, you will have serious trust issues with your new person. You will always think they are cheating even when they are not. It is advisable for you to take some time to find yourself again before you find someone new.
Re-define Yourself
It is normal to want to change a few things about yourself after a break-up. At times we tend to get lost in the person we are dating and forget about ourselves completely. It happens so fast without you noticing, and by the time you do, it might be too late for you. We’ve heard of toxic partners who try to suppress all the things about you and try to make you into their puppet. If you manage to get out of such a relationship, then take your time to find yourself again.
If you were a bubbly queen who loved to dress nice and hang out with friends, get back to your old groove. Dust of those party dresses he had you put in storage and get yourself a pair of classic eyelashes, paint the town red girl. Hanging out with your old friends will help you remember who you were before and get it back.
Find New Hobbies
You might have a hard time time doing the things you used to enjoy with your partner. If you used to stay in on most nights and watch movies, try and go out during the first month of your breakup to distract yourself from thinking about them too much. You will miss your ex so much immediately after your breakup and you will find yourself breaking down in tears on most occasions.
Find something to do to keep your mind busy. Focus fully on your job and find a new friend group if hanging out with your mutual friends hurts too much. You can even re-model your home to accommodate your newly single status. Consider going on a vacation alone, somewhere you can have some time to reflect on yourself.
Take Care of Yourself
It is okay not to be okay after a bad breakup with someone you hoped to spend the rest of your life with. It is even worse when a relationship ends while you are still emotionally invested in the other person. People have developed serious medical conditions such as depression from being too sad and crying too much. Some have experienced blood pressure complications as a result of excess stress.
Take extra care of yourself after a breakup and listen to your body keenly. If you feel like you need to talk to someone about your emotions, you can always talk to a therapist to help you calm your nerves down. See your doctor if you develop any health complications.
Avoid Making Comparisons
When you are finally ready to start seeing new people, avoid comparing them to your ex. Do not go on a date and start scrutinizing everything your date does as you link them to what your previous partner was like. You will never be able to know a person for who they truly are if you keep doing that. Avoid talking about your ex during dates; it is rude and shows that you are still not over them.
Take your time to know someone and take things slow for your own good. You can talk about your breakup but do not dwell too much on it. Remember to be yourself and not to lose yourself again after all the hard work you put into finding yourself again.
The Takeaway
Everyone has a different healing process after a break-up. Do not let anyone make you feel bad for taking too long to get over a relationship. It is only you who understands the amount of emotions you had invested in that person. You know the things you shared that made your union special. The amount of time you spend with someone also determines the period it will take for you to get over them. Take your time; Icannot stress this enough. Schedule your first date only when you feel you are totally ready to do so.