“Aw, c’mon, everyone’s doing it! You don’t want to be left out, do you? Only a loser wouldn’t join in.”
Chances are, you’ve heard these comments before. They’re part of the negative peer pressure we try to avoid and warn our kids about. Unfortunately, they pop up in adulthood, too.
Stop for a second, though, and think. Could peer pressure ever be a good thing? Absolutely! When it’s used to push someone to do something constructive or useful, it can help spark growth and development. When your peers join together to encourage you to set and strive for goals, that’s positive peer pressure. It can help you or your child build good habits and break bad ones.
Still skeptical? Here are five ways peer pressure can be a force for good.
1. Staying in Touch
A huge part of growing up is separating from your parents. If it hasn’t happened already, your kids will soon start asking for more and more freedoms. They want to go to dinner with their friends or hang out at the lake together. It’s all about giving your kid those parent-free zones where they can find their own voice. But it’s not about letting your kids cut you out altogether.
Allowing them to explore their freedom is about trial and error. The most important thing is knowing where they are. Consider giving them a safe phone for kids. You won’t be the only parent who wants some communication with their child during the day. With devices in hand, it’s easier for your kid’s friend group to encourage each other to check in at the same time. As a group, they’re staying safe and building trust.
2. Buckling Down to Learn
Learning new things can be difficult. It could be math, science, or English class for your child. Or it could be a new training program you have to complete for work. Whatever it is, when studying gets tough, it’s easy to throw your hands up and walk away. Positive peer pressure can put the brakes on quitting.
If you or your child share your frustrations with others, you’ll likely discover you’re not alone. Talk about what’s bothering you most. You may find you’re all in the same boat, but you still want to succeed. Instead of proclaiming defeat, take that collective energy and commit to working and studying together. Victory is likely right around the corner — all because you went with the group toward a positive goal!
3. Nixing the Gossip
Talking about people who are a bit different — the ones that don’t fit in — is an age-old problem. Once someone broaches the subject, it’s easy to follow their lead and start making negative comments of your own. Next time, before you chime in, think about flipping the script. Instead of adding something mean, focus on something others may not have considered.
Perhaps you have a co-worker who gets easily frazzled at work when their day runs off course. They get antsy, and it annoys everyone else. Resist criticizing them with the group. Instead, mention they may have childcare or parental care responsibilities after work that keep them on a time crunch. Anything that puts them behind schedule at work could complicate the rest of their day.
See? With one quick comment, you’ve turned gossip and criticism into compassion. It’s a positive peer pressure moment that could create a better work environment for your stressed-out coworker too.
4. Encouraging Good Financial Habits
This type of positive peer pressure benefits kids and adults alike. Perhaps your child is working and saving up for their first car. Maybe you’re putting money aside for that vacation-of-a-lifetime you’ve been planning across Europe. Whatever the case, friends can encourage you both to stick with it.
When the paychecks come in, it’s easy to forget about a long-term goal. If you have other needs and wants, skipping out on saving is simple. Gentle reminders from friends, however, can be a great way to keep you focused. They get you closer to your goal. Plus, they can help you build long-term savings habits that build financial stability. Positive peer pressure for financial security — that’s a winning situation!
5. Branching Out
Committing to trying new things isn’t only hard — it can be scary. When you feel like you have to do it alone, it can be even worse. A new challenge or hobby may seem less frightening if you have a buddy, classmate, or co-worker by your side.
Next time you find yourself holding back from attempting something unknown, find someone who’s equally nervous. Then, promise to give the new activity a shot together. Doing something unfamiliar with someone you know — putting peer pressure to good use — can make unknown situations easier. When you wade into new experiences together, it can eliminate some of your anxiety.
You’ve heard since childhood that peer pressure is a bad thing. When peers band together to encourage bad behaviors, that collective force is undeniably negative. Fortunately, there’s a flip side to having friends and colleagues attempt to influence behavior. Sometimes, their persuasion points people in a good direction.
The next time you’re tempted to impact someone’s decisions — or they do the same to you — consider the possible result. If the outcome is anything like the five mentioned above, you’re looking at a case of positive peer pressure.